My daughter. My only girl. My first baby. You were my sweetest hello and my hardest goodbye. Reflecting on my pregnancy with you and your birth brings me such bittersweet emotions even two years later. The pain of loss is just as strong, although as days pass I find myself distracted by how life has seemed to continue. I sit here with my 13 month old son napping nearby and my pregnant belly full of kicks by a new son arriving in 15 weeks. How can I be so happy today but so sad about yesterday?
For the first time in months I brought out your box of things. One glance and I began crying - your blankets you were wrapped in sat in sight. The proof you were there, your blood still stains them but your baby smell is gone. I remember your purple lips, your soft skin and that you had your daddy's feet. TWO YEARS. How is it possible it has been this long?
Whenever I pray, I always thank God for you. I thank Him that I was blessed with the daughter I always wanted, that I had a chance to hold you as a baby and not lose you as a miscarriage. I am so thankful that I have pictures of you. You have watched over your daddy and me as we have been blessed with two of your brothers...many more to come I am sure. Not a day goes by that I do not miss you, I will never forget you.
{ To celebrate Kassidy's birthday, we are releasing balloons at 4:16pm, the time she was born, and sharing cake with family at the cemetery. If you cannot attend, please light a candle for Kassidy }
Little brother Steven, 13 months old
Little brother Beau, due February 18, 2015