December 5, 2014 - Holidays & awaiting Beau's arrival!

Christmas is just around the corner and I find myself getting so excited for Steven to make his first childhood memories. He finds and points at the Elf on the Shelf (ours is named Hermey), pulls ornaments off the tree and places them in a different spot and will also look out of the car window to see Christmas light decorations. Just a few days ago, he visited Santa...it didn't go as well as last year, haha!


Steven is almost 15 months old now. He says more and more words each day, but the most frequent ones we hear are "Mama, Dada, Ball, Bite, Dog, Mmm (meaning 'Moo')" He will tap on the pantry door when he wants snacks, crawl through the dog door when he wants to go outside, and loves to make messes for mommy!

  

Beau is due in 75 days! It's hard to believe we are 3/4 of the way done with the pregnancy, but I feel much more excited about having a baby this time around. When I was pregnant with Steven, I had never experienced a "good outcome" birth or taken a baby home. Now that I've gone through a year with a baby and have proven to myself that it IS possible to be happy after loss, I am SO excited for Beau to arrive! My pregnancy with Steven was full of worry, this pregnancy has been full of joy. We are adding some finishing touches to Beau's nursery nowadays and organizing his clothes. I have a baby shower next month with my sister-in-law who is also expecting a boy 5 days after me!

I dearly miss Kassidy around the holidays. Since her passing was in November, I was still very much in the worst stage of grief around the time I wanted her closest. I do feel that she watches over us daily and that Steven and Beau wouldn't be here without her existence. A few days ago Stevie and I set up  a solar Christmas tree for her at her grave. It has purple and blue ornaments and stands about 2 feet tall, I'm so glad we can leave something beautiful for her.