It’s August. Beginning one more month with Kassidy. I will be 21 weeks along tomorrow, it’s hard to believe I’m half way done with my 2nd trimester (which is predicted to be my last). In my heart, I think I will go well into my 3rd trimester. The women I have followed and stories I have read about anencephaly pregnancies have seemed to go past 36 weeks.
This week I came down with a cold. I missed two days of work and rested…but began to panic when my husband felt that I had a slight fever. My doctor said to watch out for a fever as it may be an indication that Kassidy has passed away. I struggled with if I wanted to use my fetal heart rate monitor…I was afraid I wouldn’t find her heartbeat. Luckily, I did anyways and found it immediately. I cried in relief. I wasn’t ready to let go.
On Friday, August 3rd, I had another doctor’s appointment. It was the first appointment I went to alone, Stevie had to work and I wasn’t able to reschedule with the doctor’s office. I was especially emotional and cried most of the visit. A girl came out and called my name to walk me back to the examination room. On the way back, she was asking “So, have you started buying baby stuff yet?” I paused. Frustration began as I wished she would just glance at my chart and know that my baby’s would survive…I inhaled and just went along with it, “Yes…” She continued, “Do you know what you are having?” I answered “a girl, named Kassidy.” I couldn’t be angry at her. It’s not like my case is common. I usually have conversations like that everyday at work with customers or even employees who don’t know what is going on. At that appointment, Kassidy’s heart was still strong- 154! They keep warning me that Kassidy’s heartbeat will slow down and eventually stop, but Kassidy has been steady this whole pregnancy! She is definitely a fighter…
Something else amazing happened this week. I met a new friend, Brandy. We had found each other through a mutual friend on facebook. Brandy has helped me the past few weeks emotionally, as she lost her sweet little girl at 35 weeks. Brandy has been so kind as to bring me 2 little hats for Kassidy, book a maternity photo session and also actively look for a baptismal gown! On 8/2 we got to meet in person, and it was wonderful. I knew this journey would bring me to amazing women…
My maternity photos will take place on August 12th. I’m very excited as my husband will also be with me in them and it’s the kind of “positive” reinforcement I need right now. It’s still a celebration of a pregnancy and Kassidy’s life, after all.
My next doctor’s appointment is August 17th- I have another ultrasound and am excited to see Kassidy again. 
Much Love,
Stevie, Kelsey and Kassidy Briana
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