Hello Friends and Family,
This past Saturday, November 10th, we had Kassidy’s funeral. I woke up already emotional and upset, I didn’t want to go, but knew I would be able to see my daughter one last time before the service. On the way there, Stevie and I stopped and got 1 single white rose for Kassidy. For us, white meant innocence. We got to the cemetery and we were able to see Kassidy and arrange her in her casket just how we wanted. She was already snug in her blankets that we had wrapped her in a few days before. Her skin was pink, she looked so precious and peaceful. We set the white rose next to her along with a picture of Stevie and I. We wrote her a little note on the back of the picture…telling her that Mommy and Daddy loved her and we couldn’t wait to see her again one day.
The first hour of the service consisted of family and friends coming in and hugging us. There was a lot of praying and a lot of tears. I didn’t quite know what to say to anyone…and I could tell they didn’t know what to say to me. All I could think about was that this was the last time Kassidy would be within my reach.
After the first hour, Stevie carried Kassidy’s casket out and we lead a line of cars over to her grave. Father Juan from our church met us there. He prayed and blessed Kassidy – it was a beautiful service. Everything turned out much better than I would have imagined. I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would. Maybe it was because I knew she was watching us. I knew she was in a MUCH better place, and here we were crying about it.
We had a lunch at a nearby restaurant immediately afterward. It was nice to be with family and lighten the mood. My dad and stepmom brought a beautiful pink cake!
So here we are, 9 days after Kassidy was born. It’s a weird feeling…that everything is over. I don’t have any more planning to do for her, and I don’t quite know what to do with my time. This week, arts and crafts have been taking up most of my days. I find myself going through her blankets a lot. A pink blanket that Kassidy was wrapped in while in the hospital still sits on my pillow at night. Her smell isn’t there anymore but I still keep it there. Sometimes I wake up in a panic if it’s shifted to another part of the bed and I can’t find it.
I’ve had several people contact me and tell me how much Kassidy’s story has touched them and even changed their lives. It’s so inspiring to hear this, and I hope her story continues to be shared! One woman invited me to speak at a group, others have invited me to participate in books about anencephaly moms! I fully intend to do all of this and even more opportunities that come my way. Kassidy deserves it!!!
Love,
Stevie, Kelsey and Baby Kassidy Briana <3
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