Hello Friends and Family,
This morning I had my 18 week doctor’s appointment and heard Kassidy’s heartbeat of 167! She gave us a thumbs up and yawned! 
We got a few pictures of her and saw that her omphalocele (tummy) is still very large in proportion to her body. We met with Dr. Adams this time, she told us more about genetic testing and finding out which chromosome is abnormal. Stevie and I still cannot decide if we want to do any testing…we understand the benefits in knowing, but at the same time this cannot change anything about our future children- we will still try for more blessings. Dr. Adams said that they are still planning on a natural delivery, but if something happens an emergency C-Section is always a possibility.
We got a few pictures of her and saw that her omphalocele (tummy) is still very large in proportion to her body. We met with Dr. Adams this time, she told us more about genetic testing and finding out which chromosome is abnormal. Stevie and I still cannot decide if we want to do any testing…we understand the benefits in knowing, but at the same time this cannot change anything about our future children- we will still try for more blessings. Dr. Adams said that they are still planning on a natural delivery, but if something happens an emergency C-Section is always a possibility.
My dear friend, Kristen Self, is going to come to the hospital after Kassidy is delivered to take pictures. I was so overwhelmed with joy when hearing this that I cried HAPPY tears! I am so thankful, I know Kristen will capture Kassidy’s beauty as we see her.
This week was difficult for us. I had to contact a cemetery in order to plan for Kassidy’s burial. We chose Queens of Heaven in Mesa, AZ. Just talking on the phone with them made me feel better. They are so sensitive and loving in how they handle your situation…especially a baby. They have a section for just babies, one of the few cemeteries in Arizona that have this.
After talking with them, I bought Kassidy a crocheted hat to hear in the hospital. I fought tears while standing in line to pay…once I got in my car I couldn't stop crying. I was hysterical and was hyperventilating the whole drive home. Once I got home I laid down- and noticed Kassidy was kicking! It was as if she was telling me “it’s okay Mama.” I stopped crying and enjoyed her movements for another 30 minutes.
I don’t know what the stages of grief are…but I feel like I am going through a period of anger right now. I figure it will come in waves and when Kassidy is gone it will start all over again. In the beginning I remember praying for God to take her as soon as He could…now I am scared for her to go. I don’t want it to end…I want to keep her as long as I can.
We love you Kassidy! -Kelsey and Stevie (Mommy and Daddy)
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