Kassidy’s Headstone was placed on Tuesday, February 26th. It’s absolutely perfect (but not as perfect as her). I’m very happy with how it turned out. I got the call at work yesterday around 4:30 that it was placed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, I began crying at my desk. I left work early to see it, all the way crying even harder. I’m not sure if they were “relief” tears that it was finally there, or sad…I don’t know. I’d met a woman earlier that day that lost her daughter in January. When I arrived at the cemetery, she was there visiting her baby! I talked with her a while and saw where her daughter was, and then showed her where Kassidy was. After she left, I sat with Kassidy and began cleaning off the dirt from the headstone. I touched every letter on it and cried. I re-arranged her things as they had been moved.
On Friday, I have an 11-week ultrasound scheduled to check on our rainbow baby. This ultrasound is to specifically check the baby’s brain. So, this will ultimately tell us if the baby has anencephaly or not. They will also be able to tell if the baby has an omphalocele as well. I’m beginning to get nervous, which I feel is a natural response after what we have gone through. On March 8th, we see the specialist. Our specialist appointment will go from 7:45-11:00am. It will consist of a level 2 ultrasound, a meeting with a genetic counselor, and of course a meeting with a doctor. I feel like I have more anxiety about this than the one we will have on Friday. I suppose knowing that a level 2 ultrasound can find more means I have a higher chance of bad news there than my regular OBGYN…I need to think positive. I wish I could have “blissful ignorance” again like before we found out anything was wrong with Kassidy. I will never have that again.
No comments:
Post a Comment